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TOPICS – ICAC: The Movie casting call

16/09/2018 // by admin

The would-be all-star cast of ICAC: The Movie. ICAC: August 2014 archive Operation Spicer
苏州美甲美睫培训学校

WITH studios surely fighting over the rights to ICAC: The Movie, we’re putting up our hands to cast it.

These are, after all, possibly career-defining roles for any actor. So this is a call for auditions, starting with:

Benicio del Toro as Joe Tripodi

The Latino star has the glint in the eye to portray the Labor powerbroker. Fittingly, he’s starred in Swimming with Sharks and The Usual Suspects.

Noah Emmerich (The Truman Show, The Americans) or Craig McLachlan as Andrew Cornwell

Affability? Check. Charisma? Check. The acting chops to portray a man who has swapped being a vet for the harsh realities of public life? Er, maybe.

Dennis Quaid as Tim Owen

You could cast either man as US President. Actually, we’d pay to see that.

Katie Holmes or Rose Byrne as Jodi McKay

Now there’s an Oscar up for grabs.

Shane Jacobson as Nathan Tinkler

Um, sorry Shane. Take it as a compliment to your acting range.

This leaves us with plenty of parts to fill, including Ian Macdonald, Geoffrey Watson SC, Jeff McCloy, Barry O’Farrell, Mike Gallacher, Eric Roozendaal and the potentially show-stealing Kate McClymont.

Suggestions to [email protected]苏州美甲美睫培训学校.au or tweet @TimConnell.

TOPICS doesn’t get sent many musicals, but here’s one from Steven Moore of Mayfield. You can probably figure out which news story has grabbed his attention lately.

(Sung to the tune of My Favourite Thingsfrom The Sound of Music.)

‘‘Libs with donations and mayors with probations

Money that’s laundered and cash that is hoarded

Brown paper bags, tied up with strings

These are a few of my favourite things.

Cream-coloured Bentleys and gorgeous backpackers

Double paid staffers and property developers

Changing boundaries and electorate swings

These are a few of my favourite things.

Evidence tabled with text message exchanges

D*ckheads and deadbeats and all those fencesitters

Humiliated men who thought they were kings

These are a few of my favourite things.

When the dog whistles

When the ICAC stings

When they’re looking sad

I simply remember my favourite things

And then they just look so bad.’’

REPTILIAN ROMANCE: Mating king cobras. Picture: Gary Brown

COPPING flak from your cranky other half? Weirded out by their attempts at affection? Then imagine coming home to one of these frisky king cobras at the Australian Reptile Park.

Of course, in this analogy you’d be a cobra yourself and you’d both live in the snake enclosure – where mating season is in full swing.

A three-metre female and 3.6-metre male were ‘‘paired’’ yesterday, and here’s hoping they hit it off. The species is classified as vulnerable, with the population in Asia dwindling.

What does it look like when cobras mate? Well, the female turns blue, then the male spreads his hood with a deep, resonating hiss. And then …

‘‘The male rubs the bottom of his chin along various intervals of the female’s back in a curious twitching manner,’’ says a spokeswoman for the park in Somersby.

It goes on like this for a while, before things escalate. They’re typically done in an hour, at which point the female ignores the male and he’s returned to his enclosure.

Despite the unceremonious finale, Topics finds the reptilian romance kind of, well, tender. Squint at the photo (pictured), and that could be the pottery scene from Ghost.

​Email Tim [email protected]苏州美甲美睫培训学校.au or tweet @TimConnell or phone 4979 5944

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